Bottom of the Sexual Totem Pole – 最低的性别地位

LocdLadie has an interesting blog about the gem of all couples – Black women and Asian men. It’s true that both these groups rarely date outside their own ethinicities. It’s also very hard to overcome the culture shock that can come with the dating. For both of them, it’s easy to get caught up with being so traditional and sticking to the culture they know best. The fact that in general, Asian men are seen to be the least masculine and Black women the least feminine, compared to other races within their gender, places them lower down on the “Sexual totem pole” of the world (not a euphemism!) – also makes sense to me. On the other hand, Asian women and Black men fair better at pulling in the sex-hungry crowds, purely based on physical attraction – for quick, visible evidence, just go into any major dance club. It might also be the MTV culture dictating to us what look is “hot” and what is “not”.

Of course, this is all in context of “Western society”. For Asia and Africa, in countries with feudal societies and rife chauvinism, the pole is different and probably a complete reversal. I know for a fact, men in China get away with a hell of a lot more philandering than they would ever even dare to dream of in Europe and the US – just take a look at this blogger – Sex in Shanghai.

I can’t hide the fact that deep down, I’m bitter and twisted about being stereotyped as short, geeky, boring, asexual, loyal and a supposed “martial arts expert” Asian man with less experience about dating and sex than any other same aged non-Asian. Right now, I fall heavily into some of those dull categories. I guess everyone has demons to fight and overcome. At least being at the lowest point of the “Sexual totem pole” means that I’m not harassed daily by those eyeing me up on the street, or dealing with pointless flirt conversations while I just want to finish work and go home.

I do take comfort at the thought that my family have, from the crib, been very liberal about whom I date and whom I end up marrying – as far as ethnicity is concerned. My future life in dating, regardless of skin colour/culture and no matter how far into the future, at least has some open possibilities.